Please tell me the world has tilted off its axis. As ridiculous as it would be to mob Darius Vassell at the airport with open arms, I'd say I'd rather rally around Vassell than witnessing Michael Owen head to Old Trafford. He's not only the exact footballing equivalent of Mark Prior, but United fans will remember him first and foremost as no filthier a Scouser as Robbie Fowler and the metrosexual poster child of Real Madrid's campaign to have the prettiest benchwarmers across from Playboy's powderpuff lingerie team. Our resident Geordie, Chris, can attest to Owen's apathy on top of his total uselessness in missing sitters as well as games out with nicks. These days, it seems, Owen is only attractive for the likes of Hull City and his agent presumably had to put together a Powerpoint presentation for even a League One side to be interested in Owen's services. I know, just take a look at a few choice slides thanks to the Daily Mail:
Just to prove to you Madridistas he's still marketable:
So, here we are in upside down land where Darius Vassell gets groupies heaved his way in Ankara, Real Madrid are crafting a fantasy team that's built to win your fantasy NFL league, and United have to settle for Michael Owen. If United were to adapt a former Liverpool man as one of their own, they would've been best served to try it in style: offer up 50 million quid for Torres and see if Liverpool cave in, keeping in mind their debt. It isn't likely to happen, but it's cheeky in a good way and dang it, it's ambitious. Shoot, I'd rather see United bring back Ruud van Nistelrooy from the Bernabeu for old times' sake than see Michael Owen back on a free transfer. The only good thing to come out of it is Owen won't cost a pretty penny:
Sky Sports: Owen linked with Red Devils
Manchester United are reportedly interested in out-of-contract Newcastle United striker Michael Owen. Owen is looking for a new club after allowing his Magpies deal to expire and a number of Premier League clubs are considering a move. The likes of Hull City and Stoke City have signalled their intent to bring him in but it now seems Premier League champions Manchester United have also entered the chase.
My take is, Owen should be treated as a no-lose gamble and nothing but. Anything that Owen provides is gravy. For me, Owen should be nothing more than a substitute striker in the lion's share of matches and Fergie shouldn't have to sacrifice Rooney out on the wings to accommodate Owen in the starting XI. Another striker will be needed as having Owen on board is no better than having Louis Saha in United's ranks again. It's almost difficult to believe he's 29 when it seems like his body has gone through the wear and tear you'd expect of someone more than half his age, but it seems he's still a decent target man, though I'm not expecting much.
So far, the net result is going from Ronaldo and Tevez to Valencia and *gulp* Owen. Surely a ways to go in making up ground from a net loss. I'm not too concerned that Fergie and David Gill have possibly lost the plot, but it seems they're smoking on the same hookah as the fans and management are at Ankaragucu. All I know is United need to add two more quality signings - and by quality, I mean world-class or something near it - but in a market tampered by the virus handlers known as Real Madrid, this will be a very tough ask. In Fergie we trust and keeping those clothes on...
-Ray
